So, I have been thinking about family----"pamilya" in Cebuano----a lot recently. I went into Marriage and Family therapy because I believe in the power of family. It has the power to influence its members, both in positive and negative ways. Through love and support from its family, an individual gets the strength to chase a dream, take a risk, knowing they are loved regardless of the outcome. Conversely, through anger, degradation and violence, an individual learns not to trust, how to fight and that they don't matter.
Because of my therapeutic background, since my arrival, I have been overseeing our two counselors on staff. Professionally, this has been an amazing experience that has challenged and grown me. On a personal level, I am blown away by the tragedy and the hurt that these kids have already lived through in their few years.
This past week we had a few visits with birth families that were particularly heart-wrenching. They each involved younger children, who had experienced significant abuse and neglect at the hands of their family. The children struggled with seeing their family; they displayed fear, sadness and some did not even want to interact. Personally, my protective side was heightened and I wanted to comfort the kids. But I was also struck by the pain and fear that the family was feeling. Their children were responding to them in a way they likely hadn't expected and which didn't really feel good. The hope is that the families see how their choices have affected their children; maybe they will walk away from the visit changed...
On the other side of the spectrum, I was also given the opportunity to facilitate a Skype call between one of our kids and his adoptive family. Seeing the excitement of the family was uplifting; you could actually feel the love and dedication they have to this child, who we know and love, but who they hadn't yet met.
There are many different families in this world. Some families are started in a certain way, but can't continue on that way, because of life stressors and poor choices. Some families become complete later on, such as through adoption. There is tragedy and hurt in this world, which is hard to understand. But there is also love that shows itself more powerfully out of pain.
Just some thoughts on family. Don't forget its power. Hug your loved ones. Tell them they matter.
Thanks for supporting me and CSC. You are members of our extended family and your support makes miracles happen!
Fish
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Duty calls...
So, our house parents work endlessly; they only get 1 whole day off and one half day off (6 hours) each week! And it is rarely ever on a weekend! The Eicher house parents are off on Tuesdays, Cherne on Wednesdays and Duterte on Fridays. The hope is that with at least one set of house parents at the shelter at all times, there is the likelihood that the chaos inherent with having 75+ kids in one location will at least be more organized. ;)
When the house parents are on their whole day off, the staff members rotate through being "on duty" or being a "bantay" ("watcher" in Cebuano) in the homes. Being on duty entails that we are with the kids from dinnertime until they are all tucked into bed. We assist the Aunties in the bathtime routines, handle behavior concerns, dole out consequences, eat with the kids, play games with them, read to them, tuck them in and pray with them. We can also show a movie if we'd like to be the favored bantay---Uncle Mitch often plays movies outside so all of the kids in every house can watch---so he is winning by a landslide at this point.
Last night, I was the bantay in the Eicher home. Even though being on duty makes for a long day (I didn't leave the shelter until about 9:30pm), it really is a blessing. In the hustle and bustle of daily tasks: meetings, report writing, to-do lists, it is all too easy to lose sight of the reason I am here. It is for the kids. Being able to sit down and have a meal with them, to hear how their summer activity is going, to learn a new joke, to sing and laugh with them, are gifts and wonderful perks of the job.
The children age 7 and below go to bed at 7:30. They like to sing before bed so we all sat in a circle and sang, "Jesus in the morning" and "Jesus is my friend." Then I went to each of their beds and prayed with them and hugged them goodnight. The young boys were a bit rowdier and took longer to settle in for the night, so sadly some of the young girls had already fallen asleep before I made it to their room. But God still hears whispered prayers.
Then the older kids and I went outside to watch a badminton tournament in progress. One of our kids is in an advanced badminton class for the summer; he is quite skilled now and remained undefeated before the tournament was cut short by a thunderstorm! My favorite---I was in the minority though.
Then we all played Spoons on the floor. Hopefully you all know the game. But if you don't, you want to be the first to get a set of 4 of the same number or face card and when you have it, you take one of the spoons in front of you. There is one less spoon than there are players, so you don't want to be the last one or you are out and the game continues with one less spoon and so on. Some were new to the game, but all of them in general struggled with my recommendation to be quiet and sly when grabbing for the spoon. Their excitment was just too great!
At 9pm we picked up the games and sat together and prayed. And the prayers of these kids; my heart melted. They are so sweet. They prayed for the health and safety of the Aunties, they prayed for the health of other children, they prayed for help to obey the Aunties and they prayed for a Mom and Dad. They prayed for kids who don't live at CSC and they prayed for others who don't know God. They also prayed prayers of thanksgiving. They thanked God for bringing them to CSC, for the food they have to eat and the things they get to do here, and they each thanked God that I was their bantay.
Wow. I was beyond touched.
Then it was hugs from all and time for bed.
Duty calls, but its a blessing in disguise!
When the house parents are on their whole day off, the staff members rotate through being "on duty" or being a "bantay" ("watcher" in Cebuano) in the homes. Being on duty entails that we are with the kids from dinnertime until they are all tucked into bed. We assist the Aunties in the bathtime routines, handle behavior concerns, dole out consequences, eat with the kids, play games with them, read to them, tuck them in and pray with them. We can also show a movie if we'd like to be the favored bantay---Uncle Mitch often plays movies outside so all of the kids in every house can watch---so he is winning by a landslide at this point.
Last night, I was the bantay in the Eicher home. Even though being on duty makes for a long day (I didn't leave the shelter until about 9:30pm), it really is a blessing. In the hustle and bustle of daily tasks: meetings, report writing, to-do lists, it is all too easy to lose sight of the reason I am here. It is for the kids. Being able to sit down and have a meal with them, to hear how their summer activity is going, to learn a new joke, to sing and laugh with them, are gifts and wonderful perks of the job.
The children age 7 and below go to bed at 7:30. They like to sing before bed so we all sat in a circle and sang, "Jesus in the morning" and "Jesus is my friend." Then I went to each of their beds and prayed with them and hugged them goodnight. The young boys were a bit rowdier and took longer to settle in for the night, so sadly some of the young girls had already fallen asleep before I made it to their room. But God still hears whispered prayers.
Then the older kids and I went outside to watch a badminton tournament in progress. One of our kids is in an advanced badminton class for the summer; he is quite skilled now and remained undefeated before the tournament was cut short by a thunderstorm! My favorite---I was in the minority though.
Then we all played Spoons on the floor. Hopefully you all know the game. But if you don't, you want to be the first to get a set of 4 of the same number or face card and when you have it, you take one of the spoons in front of you. There is one less spoon than there are players, so you don't want to be the last one or you are out and the game continues with one less spoon and so on. Some were new to the game, but all of them in general struggled with my recommendation to be quiet and sly when grabbing for the spoon. Their excitment was just too great!
At 9pm we picked up the games and sat together and prayed. And the prayers of these kids; my heart melted. They are so sweet. They prayed for the health and safety of the Aunties, they prayed for the health of other children, they prayed for help to obey the Aunties and they prayed for a Mom and Dad. They prayed for kids who don't live at CSC and they prayed for others who don't know God. They also prayed prayers of thanksgiving. They thanked God for bringing them to CSC, for the food they have to eat and the things they get to do here, and they each thanked God that I was their bantay.
Wow. I was beyond touched.
Then it was hugs from all and time for bed.
Duty calls, but its a blessing in disguise!
Monday, March 19, 2012
J-O-Y
I felt like writing about joy today. To be honest, joy is an elusive feeling for me. I am a perfectionist by nature and since perfection is unattainable, all too often I succumb to the weight of all of my "failures." This gets in the way of being joyful. I am learning many things this year, and I am pleased to say that how to be more joyful is on that list! I am faced with God's grace, provision and protection on a daily basis. I can see His hands on the children and our workers and on the ministry. How can I not be joyful?! I am a visual learner---check out the pictures below to see who have been my teachers...
PLAY!
PLAY!
What girl doesn't like a sleepover?!
And baking cookies--a favorite activity!
FAMILY!
Telling one of our little ones he has a Mom and Dad...
Sisterly Love
Brotherly Love
FOOD!
Ice cream is a favorite, and messy faces are the cutest....
Eating out is fun!
The girls are helping grill supper!
One of our talented Aunties---too bad you can't smell it!
FRIENDS!
Playing in a fountain---an unexpected treat---and it made for a wet ride home!
Hanging out inside a fort they built!
Sack races---the funnest part might be falling down!
Jumping---who knew it was so much fun?
First friendships!
A series of silly faces...
Yes, we have fun here and it is all thanks to God's goodness and provision. I hope you are having a joyful day!
Thanks for your prayers and the heart you have for CSC---your giving makes all of this JOY a reality for our children!
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Perspective
Today was a great day.
At first, I couldn't quite put my finger on why. So I started to run through my day.
It most definitely didn't start out great. I was preparing to head to the shelter and had just put Katie (our dog) into the house so I could open our gate---she tends to bite, only out of excitement, but then we have to pay for rabies shots, which is an event we like to avoid if possible. So, in she goes. I was backing down our driveway when I was motioned to stop so I could make way for the garbage truck that was backing down our alley. So I complied. When the coast was clear, two of the men with the garbage truck began directing my backing. Wonderful, I thought, as it is a tight turn to simultaneously clear the gate and avoid crashing into the cement wall across from our driveway. However, I am not normally interrupted in my backing---as there is not usually a lot of traffic in our alley---and our driveway is at a steep incline and has an unusually large speed bump at its base. Variables I had not considered before. I killed the vehicle at least 8 times. Embarrassing. Eventually, I made it out of the driveway and one of the kids in our neighborhood closed the gate for me---which was pretty sweet. I let Katie back out into the yard and was on my way. All before I had had any coffee---no, not my ideal morning.
And it certainly wasn't because my day was FULL of meetings. I kind of detest meetings. Its not because I have a hard time sitting still, in fact I rather enjoy sitting. Some of my favorite pastimes involve me being somewhat immobile: reading, watching TV, going to a movie, etc. And it has nothing to do with the people I am meeting with, as I enjoy their company very much....there is just something about meetings that make me ANTSY!
It is a revelation I have been faced with here. There is so much communication required to keep everyone in the loop about changes with children, with our workers, with schedules, that my day often has at least a couple of planned meetings as well as some impromptu ones.
And today was no different, so no, it wasn't because of all that.
It also couldn't be because I spent a lot of time writing at my computer today. A large part of my job is writing about the development of each of our children. The younger ones are written about monthly, the older ones every three months and with 70 plus children, that adds up. I also have been standardizing many of our procedures this year---putting into writing the work that is done on a regular basis. So, it is safe to say I spend a fair share of time in front of my computer. I don't detest writing, not like I do meetings, but it is not typically the highlight of my day. So, it couldn't have been that...
Late this afternoon I received a request to submit an updated developmental report on one of our babies. Immediately my heart dropped into my stomach. The babies are the HARDEST to write the reports on. I am around the older children so much more and have a better handle on their abilities than I do the littler ones--and I am a few months behind in his documentation, so I started to get even more anxious. I headed to the house where that baby lives and thought I would spend some quality time with him so I have a fair amount of accurate and up-to-date information at least.
So I sat. And I played. And I smiled. And I was blessed. There are several infants and some toddlers in that nursery and they were so excited to have me for a playmate. We laid on mats on the floor and some of the babies were able to pull themselves closer to me, others kicked and kicked in excitement but never made much headway. They cooed, and babbled and drooled. And laughed, oh did they laugh! And there is no other sound in this world like an infant's squeal laugh to make you appreciate God's greatness. I lost track of time. I snuggled with toddlers who were finally slowing down for the day. I practiced my limited Cebuano and felt so proud when the children understood what I was saying. :) After leaving the nursery, I went upstairs to say good night to the older children and unexpectedly received 20 or so hugs! I helped one child with homework and my heart melted when their older sibling jumped into to help them also.
So, yeah, today was a great day.
At first, I couldn't quite put my finger on why. So I started to run through my day.
It most definitely didn't start out great. I was preparing to head to the shelter and had just put Katie (our dog) into the house so I could open our gate---she tends to bite, only out of excitement, but then we have to pay for rabies shots, which is an event we like to avoid if possible. So, in she goes. I was backing down our driveway when I was motioned to stop so I could make way for the garbage truck that was backing down our alley. So I complied. When the coast was clear, two of the men with the garbage truck began directing my backing. Wonderful, I thought, as it is a tight turn to simultaneously clear the gate and avoid crashing into the cement wall across from our driveway. However, I am not normally interrupted in my backing---as there is not usually a lot of traffic in our alley---and our driveway is at a steep incline and has an unusually large speed bump at its base. Variables I had not considered before. I killed the vehicle at least 8 times. Embarrassing. Eventually, I made it out of the driveway and one of the kids in our neighborhood closed the gate for me---which was pretty sweet. I let Katie back out into the yard and was on my way. All before I had had any coffee---no, not my ideal morning.
And it certainly wasn't because my day was FULL of meetings. I kind of detest meetings. Its not because I have a hard time sitting still, in fact I rather enjoy sitting. Some of my favorite pastimes involve me being somewhat immobile: reading, watching TV, going to a movie, etc. And it has nothing to do with the people I am meeting with, as I enjoy their company very much....there is just something about meetings that make me ANTSY!
It is a revelation I have been faced with here. There is so much communication required to keep everyone in the loop about changes with children, with our workers, with schedules, that my day often has at least a couple of planned meetings as well as some impromptu ones.
And today was no different, so no, it wasn't because of all that.
It also couldn't be because I spent a lot of time writing at my computer today. A large part of my job is writing about the development of each of our children. The younger ones are written about monthly, the older ones every three months and with 70 plus children, that adds up. I also have been standardizing many of our procedures this year---putting into writing the work that is done on a regular basis. So, it is safe to say I spend a fair share of time in front of my computer. I don't detest writing, not like I do meetings, but it is not typically the highlight of my day. So, it couldn't have been that...
Late this afternoon I received a request to submit an updated developmental report on one of our babies. Immediately my heart dropped into my stomach. The babies are the HARDEST to write the reports on. I am around the older children so much more and have a better handle on their abilities than I do the littler ones--and I am a few months behind in his documentation, so I started to get even more anxious. I headed to the house where that baby lives and thought I would spend some quality time with him so I have a fair amount of accurate and up-to-date information at least.
So I sat. And I played. And I smiled. And I was blessed. There are several infants and some toddlers in that nursery and they were so excited to have me for a playmate. We laid on mats on the floor and some of the babies were able to pull themselves closer to me, others kicked and kicked in excitement but never made much headway. They cooed, and babbled and drooled. And laughed, oh did they laugh! And there is no other sound in this world like an infant's squeal laugh to make you appreciate God's greatness. I lost track of time. I snuggled with toddlers who were finally slowing down for the day. I practiced my limited Cebuano and felt so proud when the children understood what I was saying. :) After leaving the nursery, I went upstairs to say good night to the older children and unexpectedly received 20 or so hugs! I helped one child with homework and my heart melted when their older sibling jumped into to help them also.
So, yeah, today was a great day.
Monday, February 6, 2012
On shaky ground.
At 11:49 am this morning I was sitting on the fifth floor of the Ayala Center mall, in my Cebuano class, when the floor start shifting underneath us. It was quite surreal and unnerving. I recommended we head to a doorway, but everyone just kind of congregated into the hallway in the mall. I wondered if I could book it outside in time if another stronger quake followed---I thankfully didn't have to.
As I walked through the mall I could sense the environment was a bit frenetic. Outside it was no different as all of the high rise buildings around the mall had been evacuated so the sidewalks teemed with displaced employees.
I made it to the shelter without incident. About 30 minutes later there was buzz around the shelter that people living near the coastal areas should evacuate because of the threat of a tidal wave. Some of our workers left to check on their families.
About 15 minutes later, a few of our Aunties arrived for their shifts. They were crying and frantic and said that there was a tidal wave that had been sighted in downtown. Many of our Aunties lived near there or had children attend school there so the cries and wails increased across the grounds. It was odd not to understand what was being said but to be able to perfectly see and feel the pain experienced by those around me. Pain and fear seem to be universal though.
The tsunami warning ended up being just that, a warning. Thanks be to God. Throughout the evening we had 3 more registered earthquakes. They were smaller in magnitude than the first, but were equally unsettling to me.
Standing on shaky ground is a weird feeling. It makes you want nothing more than to hold onto something secure and to value everything that makes you feel that way.
I have been abundantly blessed with people that do just that. I thank God for each and everyone of them this evening and pray for the families that have lost loved ones, homes---their sense of security.
Do the same when you get a chance...
As I walked through the mall I could sense the environment was a bit frenetic. Outside it was no different as all of the high rise buildings around the mall had been evacuated so the sidewalks teemed with displaced employees.
I made it to the shelter without incident. About 30 minutes later there was buzz around the shelter that people living near the coastal areas should evacuate because of the threat of a tidal wave. Some of our workers left to check on their families.
About 15 minutes later, a few of our Aunties arrived for their shifts. They were crying and frantic and said that there was a tidal wave that had been sighted in downtown. Many of our Aunties lived near there or had children attend school there so the cries and wails increased across the grounds. It was odd not to understand what was being said but to be able to perfectly see and feel the pain experienced by those around me. Pain and fear seem to be universal though.
The tsunami warning ended up being just that, a warning. Thanks be to God. Throughout the evening we had 3 more registered earthquakes. They were smaller in magnitude than the first, but were equally unsettling to me.
Standing on shaky ground is a weird feeling. It makes you want nothing more than to hold onto something secure and to value everything that makes you feel that way.
I have been abundantly blessed with people that do just that. I thank God for each and everyone of them this evening and pray for the families that have lost loved ones, homes---their sense of security.
Do the same when you get a chance...
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
The holidays----Filipino style
MERRY CHRISTMAS to ALL!
It may be after the holidays, but I am still reeling from the hustle and bustle of the season. Here is quick recap of the MANY activities that occurred:
THE PROGRESSIVE DINNER
DECEMBER 19, 2011
The kids travel to each of the staff's house for food and to hear a part of the Christmas story retold. Our house provided appetizers and I dressed up as an angel, along with the principal of our school and her two sons.
Pastor Marcel was our storyteller---his Cebuano is a bit better than mine. ;)
The evening comes to a close back at the shelter for cinnamon rolls in the shape of Christmas trees!
They were green and delicious!
NEIGHBORHOOD CHRISTMAS PARTY
DECEMBER 21, 2011
Each child in our neighborhood was able to take a goodie bag (the yellow ones below) as well as another gift item. The kids who were below 12 years old were able to take an item of clothing (from the picture above) and a toy (a couple of pictures below). The kids 12 and above were able to take a goodie bag, and they could choose 1 item of clothing or a toy and then we would take them all bowling after Christmas.
Here they are listening to Teacher Cris share the Christmas story, again, her Cebuano is a bit more advanced than mine! ;)
The kids eating Jollibee spaghetti for lunch for getting their presents! They kind of wanted to get through the eating part of the day....
Everyone with their presents!
There they go!
DECEMBER 24, 2011
Uncle Mitch praying over the birthday girl!
OPENING PRESENTS!
The brothers with their gifts---someone is happy about their shiny new scooter!
The girls with their princess bags---they were ecstatic!
Tammy and I celebrated our Christmas when we got home that evening!
DECEMBER 25, 2011
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Another birthday!
There was ham, mashed potatoes, and green bean casserole! NUMMY! There was NO rice, it was a hard one for the Filipinos to take, but I appreciated the American meal.
And best of all were the Christmas cookies!
Following the meal there was a reenactment of the Christmas story--done by the staff. In the background you can see the manger and in the foreground you can see our live nativity scene---the horse, cow and goat! The kids loved it and they enjoyed seeing the staff perform for them for once!
DECEMBER 26 THRU DECEMBER 27, 2011
Following the whirlwind of the holidays, Amy and I took a respite to the big city of Manila for a day and a half. The skyline was surprising for me to see---so different than in Cebu!
I'm sitting on a puzzle piece ottoman on astroturf at a flip flop kiosk in the mall---and I am loving it!
On a cruise around Manila Bay
DECEMBER 29, 2011
The birthday girl excitedly opening her presents
DECEMBER 30, 2011
The neighborhood kids that are 12 years old and above went bowling with us. We, of course, had to treat ourselves to McD's sundaes after...
Tammy and I had 11 girls sleep over at our house the night before New Year's Eve. It was a lot of fun, but man were we all worn out the next day!
DECEMBER 31, 2011
Some of the staff and I went blacklight mini-golfing before the party.
THE FIREWORKS!!!!
It was an impressive and incredibly LOUD show, the fireworks were right above us! After the show of lights, we enjoyed midnight snacks: sticky rice and hot chocolate---they are delicious together!
I pray you all had a blessed Christmas and will have a prosperous New Year!
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